I have always read that opposite sexes can’t be besties, that someone must “catch” feelings.
There are general assumptions that every man wants to be intimate with their female bestie and/or that every female bestie is always in silent competition with their male bestie’s partner.
While there are mixed reactions to this topic, I think the majorities are against it. Yet there are many opposite besties I know. So what’s the deal y’all 👀. Lol! Let me mind my business.
Anyway, what do I think??!
Well, I don’t think anything of it but I would share my own experience.
First, let me say I’m NEVER having a male bestie again in this lifetime… cossssssssssss 😫.
So let’s call him Bade.
Bade and I met in the course of work, and truly we just became great friends.
He is the most caring (one of the most because I have a lot of caring friends too) person I know and he never acted like he wanted more. So I got too comfortable I guess.
(Mo loose guard!)
Years down the line, we began to struggle. Funnily, for the longest time, I didn’t even think of it as a struggle because it was normal for us to be in each other’s business every day but I soon realized that it was different in a total dependence way.
If I didn’t speak with him in a day, I began to miss him. So it quickly (but not so quickly) went from enjoying speaking with him to always wanting/needing to. Then it built from loving to see him, to needing to always see him.
It graduated from enjoying hugging him (I’m big on hugs), to needing to hug him, especially when I’m stressed. He became assistant oxygen in my life mahn!
Let’s just fast forward to say it was a big struggle when it went out of my hand because up until then I have never had an out-of-hand experience with my heart. And I don’t think he did anything to fan it. It just happened. He was/is a genuine GENTLE man.
Long story short 👀 I’m not doing male besties again.
It made me realize that because I’m such a lover and an expressive one at that, it would be hard to love a man as hard as I do, and “shit” won’t pop either in my head, his, or both as Bade and I’s case was.
That’s the end dear! Lolll…
I’m not telling you exactly how the story ends 😂😂😂, but just know that the experience was enough to make me conclude that I will NEVER do the opposite bestie again.
Not that I have regrets, I don’t. I just don’t think I want to go through the emotional torture of shielding myself so hard ever again and then lose sef. Too much work!
P.S: I have always had male friends who wanted to be more than friends with me but I was always quick to shut it out until I realized that the danger isn’t in one person wanting more, it’s when both of you want more. That’s when you will know that “issa trap” to be so close and comfortable with someone you don’t want to have “more” with.
Your turn. What’s your opposite bestie story?! Or am I just the love-starved girl who fell easily for a friend?!
🤣🤣🤣🤣 the end !
The end ooo🤐😂
I no dey do opposite sex bestie o.
My one time experience with it wasn’t too good. I was very close to this guy (though I won’t call him my “bestie”, he was that one guy I talked to the most at the time, he had my back and was always ready to lend a help whenever I asked). We were soo close that some who knew us thought we were dating.
Several years into our friendship, he caught feelings… The day he told me how he felt, I couldn’t stop laughing. I had to ask if he was using me to rehearse, because I couldn’t believe he saw me like that! Ha! He was beyond embarrassed when I asked him who he actually has feelings for, because it can’t be me. He didn’t experrit.
Our relationship died a slow poisonous death after that. Abegi, I no dey do again.
I’m in love my male bestie. We are both madly in love. It just happened we didn’t even know how it happened. We are currently dating and I hope it leads to marriage😁
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I wish I can continue to drag the Awwww! But how did you guys decide it was more than the Bestie tag. Give us small gist na
We just couldn’t do without talking to each other. And whenever we are apart, we miss each other a lot and I was in a relationship oo😂 So it more like the heart want what it want. Maybe because we do tell each other everything and we are comfortable with each other. He knows all my relationships infact whenever I’m having issue in my relationship I do go to him for advice😂😂 Wooo opposite bestie is not easy and I’m not sure it can be that easy to be “Just bestie” especially if the feelings is mutual. T for thanks😂
Unfortunately the feeling is always mutual 😂 you’re lucky though and I hope it ends well.
Unfortunately bawo😂😂😂
Lolll @T for Tenks. I wish you both the best ❤️
It’s really a difficult situation if we want to be honest. Female besties has it’s own side where one person can become jealous when the other friend has another friend they are close to not to talk of opposite sex besties. One thing is going above the line, the other thing is becoming too attached and it’s worse when the female is love-starved like you said in the last paragraph. It might work for singles but definitely not for someone in a relationship…E no dey ever end well.
Lolll @ never ends well. I’m still combing through sha to see a end well experience. Meanwhile you don ever get male bestie? You forgot to give us your own gist🙃
I slept with my male bestie. End of story! 🌚🌚🌚🌚
Lmaooooo
I am married to my male bestie…the story is very long…lol
I’ve also hinted you to be a good story teller. Keep it up and this could blow up real good.
P.S. I Used to have female besties . Two actually. One i was attracted to (she lived far away in another state), and one I was not attracted to(we hung out almost every day). So I can say I played it safe #smiles
Awww! Kind of you to say. Don’t forget to share the blog with your friends too. @besties story it means if she was close you won’t be proud to say you played it safe🤧🤧
No no no to opposite sex besties….. including shemale and he female… case close
Ahn ahn! Why though?
Opposite besties should better step it up to a relationship situation 😂😂😂 because most besties end up being intimate with each other…..it’s okay if they are honest with themselves…..Don’t be a bestie isonu causing havoc in a relationship.
😂😂 @bestie isonu… But in their defense the isonu never was the plan.
I no dey do opposite sex bestie o.
My one time experience with it wasn’t too good. I was very close to this guy (though I won’t call him my “bestie”, he was that one guy I talked to the most at the time, he had my back and was always ready to lend a help whenever I asked). We were soo close that some who knew us thought we were dating.
Several years into our friendship, he caught feelings… The day he told me how he felt, I couldn’t stop laughing. I had to ask if he was using me to rehearse, because I couldn’t believe he saw me like that! Ha! He was beyond embarrassed when I asked him who he actually has feelings for, because it can’t be me. He didn’t experrit.
Our relationship died a slow poisonous death after that. Abegi, I no dey do again.
Awwwwww! I feel for him though. So you didn’t know at all that he was catching feelings? Were you in a relationship then? Plus you didn’t like him that way at all? Chai! I feel for him. I’m feeling the embarrassment here on his behalf. lol
I guess I missed the signs that he was falling. I wasn’t in a relationship as I just came out of a long one – where I was even engaged, so I was blind to everyone and anything called love. I wasn’t thinking about man then at all.
But yeah, after he said it, my eyes cleared & I saw the signs boldly.
And no, I didn’t like him that way at all.
I am married to my male bestie…the story is very long…lol
Hahahahaha! Pls make the story short. When did you people cross or realize you have crossed? Were you in a relationship? or was he? How long did the bestie stage stay bestie.. lol! Sha come back and give us gist. make the story short dear…
Opposite sex besties…gives sanity and nah form of therapy….and if we start to catch feelings….big problem cos it’s a mental health stimulant for me….
I knowww! But that sanity can turn problem fast too sha.