I have always read that opposite sexes can’t be besties, that someone must “catch” feelings.
There are general assumptions that every man wants to be intimate with their female bestie and/or that every female bestie is always in silent competition with their male bestie’s partner.
While there are mixed reactions to this topic, I think the majorities are against it. Yet there are many opposite besties I know. So what’s the deal y’all 👀. Lol! Let me mind my business.
Anyway, what do I think??!
Well, I don’t think anything of it but I would share my own experience.
First, let me say I’m NEVER having a male bestie again in this lifetime… cossssssssssss 😫.
So let’s call him Bade.
Bade and I met in the course of work, and truly we just became great friends.
He is the most caring (one of the most because I have a lot of caring friends too) person I know and he never acted like he wanted more. So I got too comfortable I guess.
(Mo loose guard!)
Years down the line, we began to struggle. Funnily, for the longest time, I didn’t even think of it as a struggle because it was normal for us to be in each other’s business every day but I soon realized that it was different in a total dependence way.
If I didn’t speak with him in a day, I began to miss him. So it quickly (but not so quickly) went from enjoying speaking with him to always wanting/needing to. Then it built from loving to see him, to needing to always see him.
It graduated from enjoying hugging him (I’m big on hugs), to needing to hug him, especially when I’m stressed. He became assistant oxygen in my life mahn!
Let’s just fast forward to say it was a big struggle when it went out of my hand because up until then I have never had an out-of-hand experience with my heart. And I don’t think he did anything to fan it. It just happened. He was/is a genuine GENTLE man.
Long story short 👀 I’m not doing male besties again.
It made me realize that because I’m such a lover and an expressive one at that, it would be hard to love a man as hard as I do, and “shit” won’t pop either in my head, his, or both as Bade and I’s case was.
That’s the end dear! Lolll…
I’m not telling you exactly how the story ends 😂😂😂, but just know that the experience was enough to make me conclude that I will NEVER do the opposite bestie again.
Not that I have regrets, I don’t. I just don’t think I want to go through the emotional torture of shielding myself so hard ever again and then lose sef. Too much work!
P.S: I have always had male friends who wanted to be more than friends with me but I was always quick to shut it out until I realized that the danger isn’t in one person wanting more, it’s when both of you want more. That’s when you will know that “issa trap” to be so close and comfortable with someone you don’t want to have “more” with.
Your turn. What’s your opposite bestie story?! Or am I just the love-starved girl who fell easily for a friend?!