Trauma, Zodiac or Pride?

My mom used to tell anyone who cared that growing up, I would eat anything and everything, and act like I couldn’t survive without food until someone teased me or tried to control me with that meal. She said that was the last time I would eat in the person’s house or presence or all together eat that meal.

And if it was her, I could do the whole day alone in my room until she apologizes and retracts the statement. Lol!

Of course, I am grown now, and food doesn’t mean a lot to me – don’t get me wrong, I still love food, but it’s food so you know what I mean by doesn’t mean a lot. Anyway, like I was saying, I am grown now, but somehow, I still find that the root of that attitude or ideology lives in me.

Don’t swing anything in my face, don’t act like I can’t survive without you, don’t tease me, don’t frustrate my affection, don’t take advantage of the information you have about me; because it literally will take just one encounter for me to switch.

Sometimes I even surprise myself with the way I switch.
One moment I think I can’t survive without a person or thing, the next moment, an action irritates my soul and I starve myself of that person or thing COMFORTABLY like they weren’t just my existence a few minutes ago.

While I know a lot of people don’t believe in zodiac signs, I tend to always read about them as they relate to certain subjects to give me guidance on what I am naturally perhaps shaped to act like and if I want to build on that trait or work to abolish it.

I do not believe your zodiac sign controls you; nothing should, but you can use the knowledge to control certain actions that would have come naturally to you because of your sign.

Some days, I would read about being a Taurus, and I would think to myself that maybe that’s why pushing people or things off is quite easy for me once they try to show that they are indispensable.

I mean, no human or thing is indispensable.

Other days, I’m like maybe it’s trauma. You know when you’ve had certain experiences growing up, it teaches you not to rely on something or someone. And worse if the thing or person begins to act like it.

In the same breath, I think maybe it’s just pride because I don’t want anyone or anything to think I’m dependent on them.

…. Not that I am writing because I feel guilty about it, I’m just writing to acknowledge that Mama is right. Lol!

The fact that I allow a person or thing in my life isn’t because I can’t switch on them in a minute. It will always be a privilege.

If I can fast – aka ignore and do away with food, who are you again?
Lol! Flex aka Pride, Zodiac, or Trauma; you can give it a tag. I like it!

Happy new week! And thanks for always reading.