Don’t Put “Her” in a Box

Don’t put me in a box.
And stop putting your women in a darn box.

Again, I will keep referencing the year because although a lot of stuff has been allowed in the past, the times have changed, and Hallelujah for that.

It’s 2023 dear Man, and just no one should be insisting their man grows beards or has their hair neatly shaved or left in an afro, we women are also simply asking that you let a woman choose her looks too without being judged, coerced, guilt-tripped for it.

And it’s easy to think it’s not a big deal until you realize that these things are deeply rooted. A woman sometimes feels like a step up from being a toddler. A husband feels responsible for a GROWN woman and wants her to look only a certain way. It’s what he thinks it’s right that is right.

Why can’t I have piercings if I want to just as you would get one as a man if you want? Why do I need permission from my man to have a tattoo or wear a toe ring or even an anklet?

You hear things like “Oh your husband allowed you to wear that?” As if to say as a toddler that I am, and married to an extension of my dad, I got to ask for permission to want to express myself. Ridiculous!

Now, let’s even leave the husband and wife situation for a min as that eats too deep for this article to cover.

I remember my ex-boyfriend would always beg me to wear long hair because he prefers me on them. And while there is no issue with having a preference, what that did to me was that I felt less beautiful when I was in braids or short hair. He projected that onto me. He would legit make a fuss if I didn’t dress how he “envisioned” me, regardless that however I dress, I am still a “babe”.

Same thing, you meet a man and he chooses to only comment when you’re dressed a certain type of way to show that’s what he appreciates. Anything else he acts like your value just decreased or isn’t as visible.

It pisses me off so badly.

Come here dear, stop putting people in a box. The babe who wore an abaya today is allowed to wear a bikini at the beach tomorrow, jeans at a party next, and so on. She’s allowed to cut her hair, weave it, wig it, or do any darn thing.

Keep your “you should go back to wearing” “you look better in” “don’t wear” and “don’t make”. No one asked you.

She knows what you like, but she also likes many other things and she can decide to explore all.

Stop boxing women.
Stop controlling your women.

If in your head you have a way a woman should look, wait to have a daughter and train her that way. Stop being a misogynist stylishly. No one cares what you think if you can’t love her as loud as she loves you through your choices.

P.S: If you want a woman who only looks a certain way, then go for them. Some women have just one style and look. Go for those. Don’t come to me and expect to tame me. I’m not a/your wild animal dear.

Get your box out of my face IJN. Amen🙏